Kris preached the following sermon at Church of Our Saviour in Milton, MA on October 2, 2022.
I was officially received as an Episcopalian yesterday. I’m sure it’s not common for a new member of the church to preach the day after they become a new member. So I’m hoping what I say here will have that extra zest of spirit that I received at St. Paul’s Cathedral.
What does it mean to be a Christian? The easiest answer is a follower of Christ. Maybe that’s a simple response, but the actuality of it is far from simple. There’s a line from Paul’s letter today that says God “called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace.” That’s hard to embrace, realizing that what it means is to let go of what we think we want, and to accept what God knows we need. Think about this for a moment. How much do we involve God in our lives, communicate with God in our decision making process, and trust that God is with us as we continue forward? How much of our lives involve humbling ourselves to the truth that we, alone, might not have the best answer, and that God, who knows us better than ourselves, does contain that answer? This takes a deep faith.
And faith is far from easy. I wish I could say that it is easy, that all one has to do is check the box once and all is fine for life. But that’s not the case. Faith is a struggle, sometimes daily. And here we are, having faith in Jesus, a man who lived two thousand years ago, written in text that was put together not long after. So what compels us to have this faith? I’m sure for everyone it’s different. Maybe some of you truly have seen miracles. Maybe it’s that feeling you get when you walk into church and receive communion, or when your prayers are answered, or you witness acts of kindness from strangers, or look an infant in the eyes and revel in their wonder. Maybe it’s marveling at nature, sighing at sunsets, discovering the serenity of a calm ocean after a storm. Maybe it’s hearing and reading scripture, or admiring the discipleship of your priest, or learning about the saints and their sanctity.
Today is the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi, one of my greatest inspirations. St. Francis himself was born into luxury, his father a prosperous silk merchant. Yet, during the Crusades, spirit moved him to turn away from a life that might have been physically fulfilling, but was not spiritually fulfilling, and he fully embraced Christian values, living among the poor and the disregarded, tending to them and spending his days praising and glorifying God. Through this divine intervention, he entered into the faith of God’s will, trusting that this grace and the teachings displayed in the gospel were of a deeper truth than anything humanity could conjure.
Paul is another example of this conversion from a life of comfort to a life of discipleship. Having been a Pharisee, he was seen as a well-respected individual in society, someone who knew Jewish law and Torah. Yet, because of a vision, because of a change of heart, Paul relinquished his title, his respect in the Jewish community, and followed what God intended, which was to live out the gospel and share the love of Christ to all. There’s a quote from Henri Nouwen in his book Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith that goes, “Those who have really listened to God’s voice have often found themselves being called away from familiar and relatively comfortable places to places they would rather not go.” Both Francis and Paul here are prime examples of this, and so are numerous others who have decided to embark upon the Christian faith. They have entered into union with Christ, one who willingly surrendered himself to the cross, and are thus called to go out into the world and embody the “good news”.
My journey of faith is shared in these stories. I was born Catholic, altar-server and everything, but during my teenage years I abandoned my faith, losing connection to God and spiritual life. In my early twenties I began working in the film industry, pursuing a life of money and success. But it was an ugly lifestyle. I recall working at a casting agency and after a series of auditions, the casting agents returned to the office and started mocking with cruelty a majority of the people who auditioned! This made me feel really uneasy inside. On sets of Hollywood movies, I noticed how cold everyone was to each other, how desperate some people were to be noticed, focusing only on their own ambition. It was all wrong. There was no love being shared. Yet, we idolize Hollywood, its people and fame and glamour.
Life outside of that business wasn’t much better. I was working at a corporate audio/visual job at a prominent hotel in Philly, and I was miserable. One night I had to sleep in the office because I finished work at midnight and had work again at five in the morning. There was another instance where a woman demanded a refund on her million dollar event, all because we had a technology issue and it took a minute for her video to start playing. I put on my best customer service performance, and all that did was prevent her from trying to get me fired. This lifestyle of working for a paycheck, to gain recognition and to buy material things is ultimately hollow, and it wasn’t until a late night of divine intervention that I wrote a long prayer to God asking for help to change my life. From there I started to discover new opportunities. I began working at natural food stores and got involved with various spiritual groups. My inner light began to shine again. Later in my twenties I came across an Episcopal church that offered “mindfulness worship” in the evenings. I remember walking into the chapel and seeing a priest dressed in ordinary attire sitting at the head of a circle of lit candles, Celtic music playing faintly in the background. He offered me a pamphlet and we began the worship, incorporating Christian texts in ways I never thought of before (this was my initiation to mysticism). I loved being in the chapel with its stained glass and old, wooden pews. It brought back the familiarity of church life in my youth. I started to attend the Sunday service and discovered that the values and beliefs of the Episcopal church matched my own. From there my faith was reawakened, and I began to devote my life to God’s servitude. For years to come I saw my calling as working with people with disabilities, supporting them and promoting their inclusivity. Now, God has inspired me to pursue a calling towards priesthood. And to be honest, neither path is very lucrative. Yet, the importance of living a way of life that focuses not on the individual, but on everyone is fundamental to the Christian faith. A life that has gratitude for existence and the wonders around us, that cares for others as yourself and recognizes the futility of what our society deems as success. On trusting the guidance of a power beyond your own logical reasoning at times, and seeing that wisdom in not aiming for the top, but taking care of those at the bottom.
I will add a disclaimer that I don’t believe there’s anything inherently wrong with success or money, with using the rational, thinking mind to make logical decisions. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the pleasures and comforts of life. Life is meant to be joyful, but when these aims become our sole focus, we lose sight of the presence of Christ in all, we forget to support each other’s needs to help ensure equality and to help relieve the suffering that we all encounter. I chose to become an Episcopalian because I believe the truth of this church today embodies these values in its seeking for social justice and change, in its inclusivity and focus on love, and also in its worship and prayer and devoted relationship to God and Jesus (you can learn more about this by joining our spiritual discussion group). To me this is the meaning of being Christian, and sometimes this means getting out there and volunteering, or trying out a different career path, or changing your lifestyle altogether, and sometimes it means checking in on your neighbor to make sure they’re doing okay, or treating your friends to a meal or planting a garden or even taking time to provide some needed self-care and turning to God for consolation. Of course attending church and being part of a community is important, but Christianity is beyond the walls of the chapel you worship in. So take the time today and ask yourself, what does it mean for me to be a Christian?
Christ tells us in today’s lesson that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, miracles can happen. We might view these miracles as healing the sick, turning water into wine or raising the dead, but I've seen other miracles that are just as important. I have seen people change their entire lives around, view the world through a new lens, from a heart-centered way of love. This is what Christ is trying to showcase, that we need to allow the faith that we have, even if it’s as small as a mustard seed, to crack open and become something miraculous. If we can have the courage to do this, then by God’s grace we can become the change we wish to see.
I leave you today with this famous prayer attributed to St. Francis of Assisi which I feel embodies what it means to be a disciple of Christ, that which is not fixated on one’s self, but on the entirety:
Lord make us instruments of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.